Bloke’s reaction to fiery fracas while he eats chips has been viewed 18 mill times online

If you’re familiar with the old Kipling standard, If, you’ll know it’s pretty friggen important to keep your head – even if everyone around you is losing theirs. If you’ve always admired that particular line about being a legendary stolid bloke making all the world your oyster, you might see the dude in this particular video as the personification of calm and collected. Deadset, just watch him mind his own business, eat his chips, and give absolutely zero f**ks as a fracas breaks out in a kebab shop.

For this particular story, we’re heading to Ken’s Kebabs in Portsmouth. If you’re not sure where that is, it’s in the south of England, so you’re probably gonna need to rug up.

Credit: @xbethdeakin/Twitter

Rightio, so what we see in the video is a couple of blokes getting us started with a simple disagreement. The first blokes like, ‘f**ken oi!’ and the dude behind the counter turns his tongs into a dangerous projectile. From there, it all kicks off.

At the same time, another fired-up bloke – this one in a blue jacket – comes in like a bull in a china shop. “Come on!” he’s shouting. “Come on!”

Credit: @xbethdeakin/Twitter

We’re not sure what his problem is, but we’re willing to put a bet on it being the fact that he’s young, dumb and full of rum – or something similar. It’s not Bundy after all.

Anyway, we won’t spoil the fireworks for you. Nah, we’ll just focus on old mate sitting at the table while he munches on his chips. He’s quite literally the coolest guy ever. He’s no doubt got some esoteric white noise s**t playing on his earphones, and those chips are clearly quite good.

Seriously, he’s not giving them up for anything.

Credit: @xbethdeakin/Twitter

Anyway, the video’s pretty hectic. You’re probably gonna love it. You’ve got about four kebab shop workers – one of them armed with a bit of polystyrene, a dude in dreds, some chavs getting their just desserts, and a whole heap of action.

Have a squiz…

Credit: @xbethdeakin/Twitter

Final thought: There’s probably a simple lesson in this one. Be the guy at the table. Don’t be the guy in the grey jumper or the blue jacket. Be the guy at the table. Honestly, that s**t’ll make you a top bloke.

Wow fight In kens kebab pic.twitter.com/WcvGgE2kqY

— Beth Deakin✨ (@xbethdeakin) January 11, 2020

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Ozzy Man’s Random Vlog #2 Mexico

Video Link: Beth Deakin

H/T: NEWSYWORLD.