All Crikey!

Man’s ass falls out after sitting on the toilet too long playing games on his phone

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In horrifying news straight out of China, a man playing phone games on the toilet has suffered a terrible, terrible injury… We all know there’s nothing quite so relieving, relaxing and reliable as an after-work sh*...

The moment Andy Dick had to be removed from The Jimmy Kimmel Show for groping Ivanka Trump

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I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought the rule ‘hands and feet to yourself’ was a pretty good one. Generally speaking, unless someone wants you to share your extremities with them, you really shouldn’t – eve...

Poachers eaten alive by lions after illegally breaking in to target rhinos

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You know we f**ken love wildlife here at Ozzy Man Reviews, so it’s with great ‘sadness’ that we inform you of the terrible circumstances that befell a group of poachers in South Africa earlier this week: the c**ts wer...

Manager sacked over cruel text messages to employee whose son was on life support

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If any part of you is a decent person, you’ll know that when someone you work with is doing it rough, particularly if one of their loved ones or family members is in a bad way, you help ‘em out by doing a little extra...

NASA preparing 17-year-old girl to become first human to reach Mars

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I’m not sure about you wankers, but when I was seventeen my usefulness to the human race was pretty bloody limited. I’m sure you can relate. After all, most seventeen-year-olds are just big kids in what’s sort of star...

Sheila finds out her boyfriend is cheating thanks to takeaway delivery guy

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Damn! Imagine thinking you’re getting away with one on the side only to get stitched up by a delivery driver. F**k me sideways. Talk about a Days of Our Lives plot-twist. Anyway, that exact scenario happened to one do...

‘Dead’ woman found alive in morgue fridge

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For some, the thought of being surrounded by dead bodies is a real fear. It’s even got a name: Necrophobia. Yep, for some reason, the idea of looking around a room and seeing nothing but lifeless corpses, toe-tagged a...

Mike Tyson on Brad Pitt – “I walked in and he was banging my wife”

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We’ve had a bit of a yarn on here before about Iron Mike Tyson and the fact that he’s one tough b*stard. As far as guys you don’t want to be punched in the f**ken head go, Tyson’s right up there. In fact, I’m pretty s...

Spring breaker throws hands with 45-year-old man and gets melted

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Youth versus experience. Young versus old. Lad versus lord. However you want to put it, it’s a debate as old as time itself. The video you’re about to watch puts it to bed as emphatically as any video you’ve ever seen...

14 hyenas kill kudu bull in African Safari camp reception

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but FARK, African wildlife does not mess about. Imagine staying at a Safari camp and waking up in the morning to find out a pack of hyena had f**ken slaughtered a fully-grown...

Dodgy driver sends new Ferrari 458 sideways into oncoming traffic minutes after renting it

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Plenty of Aussies crash their kangaroos (aha, yep, yep, we drive kangaroos don't ya know?) on the way to work and no one here acts like it’s ‘to be expected’ just because we’re Australian. With that in mind, we can’t ...

Cop promises no arrest wants to ‘throw hands’ instead – actually follows through

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The police. These b*stards have a bloody tricky job on their hands. They’re supposed to help people from all walks of life, but that’s not always easy. Every now and then a cop just has to deal with someone who’s not ...

Couple share video of flight passengers joining mile high club

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We’ve talked before about the joy of flying on this website, and fresh from the delightful story of the bloke who used the seat in front of him as a pisstrough, we’ve got more airplane action for your reading pleasure...

Spectacular timelapse video captures “microburst” storm dumping tonnes of water in lake

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Mother Nature is an awesome sheila. When it comes to impressing the onlookers with a bag of tricks, she has all the goodies. From her freaky fauna and flamboyant flora to her fabulous phenomena, the old duck knows how...

Bloke serves his friends his own amputated foot tacos

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All right, all right, all right, you don’t have to say it. We’re way ahead of you. This one is toe-tally gross. It’s the story of a man who shattered every bone in his foot in a motorcycle accident and had it amputate...