New Zealand accent has been voted the sexiest in the world
The world is f***en choc-a-block with accents. Here in Ozzyland, we’re pretty well known for the sweet lilting cadences of our own accent, but other places around the world have got some great s**t going on with theirs. So when the world decided it wanted to know which accent was the sexiest, there were, understandably, more than a few that would have been justified in thinking they were a shoe-in. S**t pretty much all of the Romance languages can just step the f**k forward and get ready to fight it out for the crown, right?
Haha, yeah, nah. Just f**ken nah. None of those so-called shoe-ins stood a chance once the Kiwis got involved. Presumably, it’s the first of April, because if it’s not, no one’s ever heard a Kiwi speak. Deadset, we put s**t on ‘em for their dodgy bloody accents all the time over here. Fush and chups. F**ken seriously, bru?
Anyway, according to the writers of the poll, Big 7 – who must be bloody Kiwis – it’s the outrageous charm of a language that calls eskies chully buns and thongs jandals that makes the men bar up and the woman squelch with moisture. This is their fair dinkum quote:
“To a novice ear, the New Zealand accent might sound just like the Australian accent, but Big 7 Travel readers disagree. The ‘Newzild’ dialect is outrageously charming. The sexiest accent in the world? It’s official.”
Also, Newzild? What the f**k is that when it’s at home? But, we digress. Perhaps if we look at the rest of the list, we’ll see some justification for this travesty. Second, they’ve chosen South African. We don’t hit Italian until fourth and French is seventh.
Apparently, Romanian doesn’t even get a look-in until 49th. Deadset, these voters have clearly never heard a bonza Romanian sheila say I vant to suck your… Cock-ups everywhere in this list, we reckon.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re not bitter or anything, but we’re gonna say the only other way this list got itself decided on is obvious. Big 7 said they polled their readers, right? Well, we’ve got you now, Big 7. You publish magazines for sheep. You can’t pull the wool over our eyes!
Final thought: Righto, have it at. Which accent makes you go weak in the knees? Load up the comments with your thoughts.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: The Devil’s Wheel