Russian Deep-Sea Fisherman Catches Some F**ked Up Sh*t!

The deepest darks of the ocean are often cited as the last frontier on our big wet planet. They’re supposed to shelter some potentially terrifying beasties that look like they’ve fallen out of the ugly tree, hit every ugly stick on the way down and then landed on the ugly stump for good measure. Now, thanks to the intrepid work of a Russian fisherman, Roman Fedortsov, we’ve got photos of some of these unsightly b*stards. Have a f**ken squizz at these…

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

These weird-as-f**k squid things look like a cross between a dog’s dick and a dried-up turd. How well you reckon they’ll go in the deep-fryer?

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

This thing is obviously what happens when a prawn gets hold of the Juggernaut’s helmet. And have a go at it’s f**ken chainsaw beak. Fry it up!

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

That’s not terrifying at all. In fact, it’s almost bewdiful. You want chips or potato scallops with it?

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

All right, that’s a bit more like it. The sh*thole-beaked starfish isn’t quite as ass-like as its near cousin the chocolate starfish, but it’s not far off.

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

This is some sort of deep-sea shark. It’s not clear exactly what species it is, but it looks like a mean b*stard.

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

Geez, what the f**k is that? While experts have apparently identified some of these fish, this is one they actually looked at and said, “Yeah, nah, no f**ken idea, bro.”

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

Well this is obviously a 90s era hot tuna. Haven’t seen one for a while. Good to know they’re still around.

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

That’s a bloody spider. F**ken hell. Scary little bugger.

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

Black scabbardfish. Looks like a Giger-inspired vibrator. Tell ya mum.

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

This is a ghost shark, sometimes called a chimaera apparently.

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

Yeah, I can’t quite make this f**ken thing out.Is its head not properly attached to its body, or is it supposed to be that bloody ugly?

Credit: Roman Fedortsov

Lastly, this nasty looking little prick is apparently a frilled shark. These things are prehistoric-as-f**k. Also, hot-tip, if you like your fiction gruesome and over-the-top, check out a novel called Island Red by Matt Serafini. It’s got a giant one of these wreaking havoc amidst a huge f**ken storm and an alien invasion. It’s a bloody ripper!

Final thought: Dudes aren’t exaggerating when they say the depths of the ocean are f**ken chockers with ugly, nasty, or just plain scary critters.

With complement all this deep-sea bullsh*t, here’s Ozzy’s commentary video on The Meg…Ozzy Man Reviews: The Meg

H/T: Gizmodo.