Reddit Legend explains how they got paid & promoted for doing NOTHING for 5 years

Credit: Reddit

Reddit Legend explains how they got paid & promoted for doing NOTHING for 5 years

We’ve said this before, but work is a bloody funny thing. Deadset, you might well love it, you might well enjoy working with the people there, and you certainly might enjoy the money you earn while you’re there, but it’s hard to say you wouldn’t love to stop doing the actual job while continuing to earn the money get from being there. Well, that’s where this story comes in. A legend who’s just left their job explains how they worked there for five years without lifting a finger…

Yeah, we’re not gonna lie, we’re straight up impressed by this. After all, technically, they had a system that was getting the work done and they were solely responsible for it, so they ‘earned’ their wage. They were just f**ken smart about it.

The story was posted by a Reddit user who goes by the handle Cynicusme, and it’s a bloody belter, so strap yourself in:

“I got a night-shift job doing data entry back in 2015. I quit and needed something fast at night while I look for something better during the day. It was a data entry position, meaning I get an email containing the details of an order and proceeding to input the information into our system. Right after my training I knew this is something Autohotkey can do, I don’t know to code that well, so I went to a freelancer website to hire a guy to develop the code, it cost me a two-month salary….”

If you’re anything like us, you’ll already be loving this. Still, we’ll pass back to the OP.

“I just had to input how many orders I want to process per hour, since day 1 I was working from home because the company did not want to pay for transport or cleaning during the graveyard shift. For the first 2 years, I would check if there was something the code cannot do (usually took me less than 5 minutes) and then I would let the computer running and watch movies, go to bed, sometimes I’d even go out. Then I added those functions to the code as well. I was doing such a remarkable job I was offered promotions a few times, new positions during the daytime that I’d reject stating I’m a very introverted person that enjoys this type of position. Eventually, I got another job, better paid, but there was no reason for me to quit where I was working. For my data entry job, I could spend months without having anybody reach out to me.”

Of course, the s**t wasn’t without the occasional minor problem. Fortunately, the OP had a solution.

“Sometimes some co-workers will try to match my order entry quota, which would make me open the code, and change an 8 to 9 to increase my production and keep myself on top. I’d change the numbers regularly “just in case” but nobody even noticed. I even got 2 salary raises at some point for never missing a day, and being the top producer in my 3 people department, to which I corresponded by changing the 9 and switching it to an 11 or 10 on some days.”

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and the OP even has that detailed for us.

“It took them 4 years to develop new software that will replace my data entry position. Since clients were granted access to our new system. A few weeks ago I got my severance check, I was told I could keep the laptop and office equipment and that I’m welcome to apply for any position I want. I never talked about that with anybody IRL, not even my family, even my wife wasn’t sure what my job was about with that other company. Now that it is over. There you go, my darkest work secret.”

Final thought: There’s really not too much to say here except the obvious. This is f**ken genius. Let us know if you’ve ever gotten away with something similar. See you in the Facebook comments.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Disappointment