Putin stripped of his black belt after Ukraine invasion
If there’s one thing that truly screams final boss, it’s the president of an invading country having a f**ken black belt. Deadset, you can imagine it now. You finally jump onto the last platform, blast the sole remaining thug, and face up for the boss battle. Then, from nowhere, the c**t takes a f**ken taekwondo stance and gives you the ‘come at me’ fingers. Believe it or not, that could have been Putin. Yeah, nah, the prick had a black belt until very recently…
Fortunately, though, bloody World Taekwondo have put a stop to that bulls**t. Believe it or not, Choue Chung-won, the president of the World Taekwondo Federation, awarded the prick an honorary ninth-dan black belt back in 2013.
— Reuters (@Reuters) March 1, 2022
At the time, Putin said, “I don’t think I have earned such a high dan.” Now, the federation agrees. They reckon, “Peace is more precious than triumph,” and that Putin can get nicked if he thinks he represents the values of the sport.
Tonight! The international taekwondo organization strips Putin of his black belt. Good! No belt makes it easier for Ukraine to spank him.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) March 1, 2022
Taekwondo’s governing body released a statement saying, “the brutal attacks on innocent lives” violated the sport’s values of respect and tolerance. “In this regard, World Taekwondo has decided to withdraw the honorary 9th dan black belt conferred to Mr. Vladimir Putin in November 2013.”
— Relaysonic 🇺🇦 (@Relaysonic) March 1, 2022
Although, it hasn’t been confirmed, it’s believed they then bowed politely, adopted a fighting stance, and gave him the ‘come at me bro’ finger wiggle.
When you think you've seen it all…there's this.
The World Taekwondo Association has taken away Vladimir Putin's honorary Black Belt, awarded in November, 2013.
— Tibor M. Kalman 🇺🇦🕊 (@kalmantibs) February 28, 2022
So yeah, there you have it. While the rest of the world is telling him to stop being a dick, other sports are stopping Russia from competing, and the internet is uniting to fight his aggression with humour, World Taekwondo have done their bit to minimise the threat he possesses.
Final thought: Yeah, look, obviously, this is all fairly tongue-in-cheek, but the reality is that all of this s**t adds up. The world has pretty staunchly advocated against the invasion, and it’s good to see that for the most part, humanity doesn’t want war. Don’t you reckon?
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Animals Relaxing #7