Bloke accidentally chops off his own d*ck while dreaming about cutting meat
We’re pretty sure you’re all familiar with the concept of a nightmare. After all, they’re not exactly uncommon. Still, this story is gonna redefine the s**t out of the idea of a night terror. Basically, the dude in this story chopped his own schlong and scrote off while dreaming he was slaughtering a goat. Yeah, nah, it hurts to even consider…
We’ve gotta say that we come across some pretty f**ked-up stories here at Ozzy Man Reviews. This time, though, we might have found one of the most bizarre ones yet. The story happened in Ghana.
Local bloke Kofi Atta, a farmer from Assin Fosum, woke in shock after feeling extreme pain coming from his johnson. Speaking to BBC Pidgin, he said, “I dey sit inside chair wey I doze off, so as I dey sleep I dream say I dey cut meat wey dey in front of me.”
As you know, that meat wasn’t ‘meat’. Yeah, nah, it might have been a pork sword, it might have been meatballs, and it might have been a beef bayonet, but it wasn’t meat in the traditional sense.
Fortunately, Kofi’s injuries aren’t life-threatening. They’re pretty f**ken bad, but they’re not life-threatening. While Kofi says, “I no remember how I carry de knife, even me I dey confused,” his wife came home to find him bleeding and holding his penis.
She received a distressed call from a neighbour because her husband was ‘bleeding profusely’ after ‘cutting off his manhood with a sharp knife,’ and rushed home in time to get him to the hospital.
Final thought: Yeah, nah, this is without a doubt the worse nightmare we’ve seen anyone experience – and we’ve seen all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Let us know if you’ve ever actually harmed yourself in your sleep. We’d be interested to see if anyone out there has had a similar experience.
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Tree Lopping Fails #2