NASA is offering $18,500 to people willing to stay in bed for 60 days

Reckon you’ve got what it takes to stay in ya fart sack for 2 months? That’s precisely what NASA has been recruiting for recently. They are looking for blokes and sheila’s to stay mattress backed for the sake of scientific research for future space travel. 

If they are gonna get astronauts to the far reaches of outer space, they wanna study the effects of zero gravity on the human body and ensure the astronauts are in good shape. No-one wants them to spend months and months travellin’ in outta space only to be f**ken cactus once they get to bloody Mars or the Moon or where ever.

Credit: NASA

There’s a couple of criteria if ya want a guernsey. You gotta be between 24 and 55, in good health, be able to speak German, and prepared to travel to Cologne in Germany.

The study starts in September this year and you need to be available for 89 days. 5 days when you first get there to get acquainted with the surroundings, 60 days in bed and 14 days of rehab, just like the real astronauts.

Credit: Images from ESA

The 24 that get picked for the gig will be split into two groups. Twelve will visit a centrifuge in a lab from time to time, and be spun in a big rotating rig. This will push blood to your outer extremities like your toes and fingers. Scientist will be able to tell if this helps lessen the effects of being on ya back for long periods.

Reminds me of the f**cken Gravatron at the local show! Credit: Images from ESA

Spending 60 days on me ass watching Netflix sounds pretty good to me, but there’s a down side of course. For your $18K you can expect muscle deterioration, loss of bone density, and the way your blood flows will get a bit screwed up too.

But you’ll have a bunch of medics, scientists and psychotherapists on deck to minimise the side effects.

Credit: Images from ESA

People’s thoughts online were mixed, with some ready to put on their bloody jimmy jams and suit up for 60 days bed bound.

Credit: Facebook

Others are gettin’ their priorities right regarding mental health and GOT haha.

Credit: Facebook

Final thought: Keep in mind that NASA needs ya to do everything lying down, including eating, drinking, draining the python and ah, hanging a brown bear in a porcelain cave. I’m not sure i’m ready to give up that kinda privacy… Besides, I’d be going off like a wasp in a beer bottle after about 3 days I reckon… there’s no tallies or pies in NASA’s nutritionally designed menu I bet. Yeah, nah. F**k that NASA.

H/T: Bored Panda

Feature Image from ESA