Police are on the hunt for the Kiwi Butt-Plug Bandits
We all know the media loves to come up with catchy names for people. If you’re an alleged criminal, that name might have something to do with your alleged crimes. With that in mind, we give you the Butt-Plug Bandits. These two sheilas are Kiwiland’s answer to Burke and Hare, Bonnie and Clyde and the Kray Twins. Their crime? You f**ken guessed it! They target sex-stores and steal butt-plugs, dildos, vibrators and leopard-print dresses!
Let’s start with the information we do have. The other day, workers at a Peaches and Cream Adult Store in Lower Hutt, in Kiwiland, were alerted to some potential criminal activity when two sheilas described as ‘rugged-looking’ entered the store and split up.
Before we go on, you’ve got to love that they were described as rugged-looking. Like they’d just come in from the lumber-yard. Anyway, staff noticed that as they were moving around the store, the bags these two princesses had brought with them were ‘growing’. Kind of like the pants of most guys who enter the store then.
It was with an inspection of their bags, that the Butt-Plug Bandits earned their name. They were trying to flog two anal climaxers worth over $300 each, a Hustler brand rabbit vibrator worth over $250, a leopard print dress worth $95 and a wand vibrator worth $220. Bloody hell!
While one of the chicks was apologetic and returned her stolen goods, the other one refused to empty her bag and left the store with her haul. Obviously, footage of the pair has been shared on Peaches and Cream’s Facebook page.
Someone noted they were the same pair busted flogging sex toys from other stores in the area. One person commented that the ‘police have been around her house multiple times, but she’s never there.’ The obvious reply was a f**ken doozy. ‘Probably hiding in the bedroom with her collection of butt-plugs.’
The CEO of Peaches and Cream said people are often caught stealing from the store and made to pay for the items in court. “We don’t normally want them back.”
Final thought: If you are going to embark on a life of crime, have a think about what you want to steal. You certainly don’t want a nickname like the Fleshlight Fraternity or the Dildo Dudes for your gang.
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