Man mistakenly released from prison for two hours is returned by wife

You just have to love a goody-two-shoes girlfriend or wife. They’re always around to keep us out of trouble and make sure we’re on the straight and narrow. Whether they’re making sure you don’t get too drunk, get home safely, or don’t get away with your opportunistic escape from the big house, they’re always making sure us gents have every chance to do the right thing.

With that in mind, meet James Rynerson. James is currently at the mercy of the courts in Colorado.

Yeah, he’s being held in custody due to a range of charges that cover menacing, disorderly conduct and trespassing charges. Not to be too judgemental, but he seems like a good bloke.

Now that’s a mug-shot. Credit: Mesa County Jail

Anyway, when the screws at his current abode cocked up, Rynerson pounced like a cougar on uni night. The official story is that another inmate, Marvin March, was temporarily moved into Rynerson’s cell but after he was moved back to his own cell, the paperwork was never fixed up. So when March was due to be released, security fetched Rynerson by accident.

Bloody Rynerson must have thought all his Christmases had come at once. They never checked his ID, so he did what I reckon anyone would do in his situation. He kept his f**ken mouth shut and rode his luck. All the way out of the prison and back home. To his wife.

And now he’s back looking at this. Credit: Mesa County Sheriff

Now, this is where things get interesting. I mentioned the goody-two-shoes girlfriend or wife before. Mine walked me back into Maccas when they accidentally gave me a free burger once and made me explain. I thought I had it tough, but yeah, nah. Bloody Rynerson has it tough.

He was hanging out in the garage when his missus found him. You can picture it now. Poor old Rynerson’s probably rocked up with chocolates, flowers and a raging desire for real pussy. No such luck. He told the wife how he got out of jail and she made him get in the car and took him right back. He enjoyed less than two hours of freedom before she f**ked him off again.

The poor f**ker has now got a bunch of extra charges on his record including escape, forgery, criminal impersonation and theft.

It’ll be the last time he sees this view of his current digs for a while. Credit: Mesa County Sheriff

Final thought: So near yet so far. It’s probably a good lesson for all that when serendipity does bless you with a big f**ken fluke of an escape opportunity you need to make for bloody Mexico, not the missus’ house. Better luck next time, Rynerson.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Soap Soccer