21 parenthood memes that perfectly sum up #mumlife
Who wants a job that pays literally zero cash and requires you to be on call 24/7? You will be required to cook and clean for tiny humans that give zero f**ks and need you to wipe their ass from time to time. You’ll also wanna wear protective footwear at all times to avoid stepping on LEGO or slipping in a puddle of urine.
If you’re a mum, chances are you unknowlingly committed to this job when you decided to grow a set of arm and legs in your uterus. And with Mother’s Day just behind us, it’s important to remember to keep a sense of humour about this parenting s**t.
Because if you dont laugh, ya cry. And drink. And cry in your wine. So here’s a couple of funnies to keep ya smiling while your in the trenches known as parenthood – some come with good advice, others remind us that we are not the only ones that have created a pack of little A-holes in our own image.
Unless it’s lavender infused booze, lavender don’t do s**t.
Some say it’s hard to remember what life was like before ya had the little tin lids…. But I bloody remember alright.
We all know that the young folk arent great at following instruction, but trying to get a decent pic of your kid? Or getting them to complete a basic task? Ya got Buckley’s mate!
Thankfully you’ll get heaps of unsolicited advice and information from experts to help you through your child rearing days. Luckily all kinds of people that couldn’t organise a screw in a brothel will have an opinion on how ya should raise your little one.
If you’ve gotta good partner that helps you out, you’re lucky AF. If you’re doing the parenting thing on your own, you’re a bloody superstar.
Even just take them outside while I’m dropping a chocolate banana in the loo ffs. I literally havent been to the toilet on my own since 2008.
While we no doubt love our kids, there’s nothing better than a little bit of alone time…. Long line in the bank? Queue to get fuel? I’m not even mad. Take your goddamn time. I’m just gonna rest. My. Eyes.
Now before you blokes start whinging that “yous are parent too,” and “it’s not just the mums.” Just calm ya tits alright! May is for the Mothers. You blokes get your turn in Spetember for Father’s Day.
Make time to appreciate the women, the mums, the nannas, the carer’s, the sisters and the aunties. Without our lady bits, you’d all still be swimming in ya daddy’s knackers, or on the back of a tissue… So, you’re welcome.