You’ve been eating pineapple wrong your whole life
Pineapple has become one of those weirdly controversial topics in recent years. As you know, there’s great debate as to whether you put it on your pizza or whether you don’t. In the past, it’s been famous for being the fruit you eat if you want to treat your lady friend to something sweet. All that aside, it’s in the news again. This time, some clever b**stard has pointed out that everyone struggling with cutting the b**tard up has been doing it wrong. There is, according to this video, an easier way.
First of all, let’s just point out that if you can’t stand the sound of other people chewing and crunching their food like f**ken animals, mute your s**t now. There was no warning for me, and I would rather walk on hot coals than listen to that sound, so, er, be warned, I guess.
Anyway, onto the video. Our question is ‘What the f**k kind of sorcery is this, you madman?’ By the swing of Steve Irwin’s nutsack, that s**t just looks bloody wrong. It’s not f**ken Lego. It shouldn’t come apart like that, surely.
Deadset, this is some dark, dark magic. We know some of you folks who like to live on the edge, peel bananas upside down, but this can only be the work of the darksome dingo who comes in the night.
Naturally, the video’s gone viral, proving once again that despite all of our technology and our fine arts, we’re still an easily impressed bunch of hairless apes. Have a squiz at some of the fair dinkum responses posted on Twitter and you’ll see that the minds of those who’ve seen it are blown.
Naturally, there’s been a few response videos as well.
I found the person who recorded themselves eating pineapple pic.twitter.com/sOfZvLZnC8
— Vinnie Delikanlı (@ortegaksv) March 6, 2019
This is me attempting the pineapple thing 😂 I think my pineapple is broken lol pic.twitter.com/n32RYQycYL
— That Guy Alf(TGA)🇿🇲 (@AMChonganya) March 6, 2019
Final thought: Yeah, quite simply, some of you big bloody legends are going to have to try this and post your results in the comments. Just keep your chewing and crunching to yourselves.
🍍🤯 Wait a minute, today we learned you can eat pineapple like this pic.twitter.com/eyfHQb5NnK
— ONE37pm (@137pm) March 7, 2019
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: PETA v Steve Irwin