Pommyland’s getting so hot this summer that train tracks are catching fire!

Credit: Southeastern Rail

Pommyland’s getting so hot this summer that train tracks are catching fire!

We’re not surprising anyone when we say that Pommyland isn’t exactly renowned for scorching hot weather. Yeah, nah, we usually associate it with the opposite, but right now, England’s f**ken cooking. Yeah, nah, there are sunburnt c**ts everywhere and it’s so bloody hot that even the railway lines are struggling. Check it out…

Okay, so we’ve gotta start here and say that if you’re from a pretty f**ken warm climate like we are in Oz, it’s easy to look at the numbers the Poms are posting and go, ‘Yeah, but it’s not that hot is it?’

And look, we get it. The thing is, it’s all about what you’re acclimatised to. So to be fair to the English, we might look at the fact 33 degrees Celsius is a record-breaking day for this time of year and wonder what all the fuss is about. In reality, though, that’s still a bloody ballbuster of a temperature here in South-East QLD, and we’re used to it.

In short, we’re gonna let the Poms have this one. It’s f**ken hot. They’ve struggled a bit in recent years, and the temperature is kicking their arses. They’re not used to it, it’s hotter than it usually is, and THE F**KING RAILWAY LINES ARE CATCHING FIRE.

Yeah, nah, they are. Legit. Just the other day a spark on the Brixton and Victoria lines ignited the line’s wheel timbers. From there, the fire brigade had to be called, services were shut down, and Steve White, the managing director of Southeastern Railway hopped on Twitter to share the information.

“Thank you to @NetworkRailSE and the London Fire Brigade for responding promptly to a lineside fire this morning and allowing services to safely resume to Victoria,” he tweeted with an image of the burning tracks.

When asked how it happened, he said, “Wheel timbers on the bridge caught fire – they are very dry as you would imagine and although we don’t know for sure, it’s possible a stray spark set them alight. An inspection has passed the line fit for operation but we’ll still be looking at whether they need replacing.”

As for the science of why this doesn’t happen in Ozzyland or other hot climates, we’ll have to rely on the engineers in the comments section.

Final thought: Yeah, no matter how you look at it, that’s some serious bulls**t. Hopefully our mates in Pommyland are staying cool with an ice-cold mid-strength and they’re slapping on the sunscreen. If you’re over there, let us know how you’re doing.

Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Destination F’d Vol 22