Latest Fleshlight product is a game changer

Welcome to the future lads. A new product from Fleshlight is setting the gold standard in self-care for your c**k, along with a rippin’ video advertisement to boot. The Ad follows the adventures of Capt. Jack Doff as he flies the USS Erectus into home base.

What an exciting time to be alive. There’s robotic machines that can do the majority of our factory work. And now? There’s a f**ken masturbating machine that will shake white hot coconuts from your veiny love tree with you barely liftin’ a finger!

Credit: FleshAssist via YouTube

The video is advertising at it’s bloody best… Has ya chucklin’ at the f**ken absurdity of it, and then lookin’ for ya credit card sayin’ shutup and take my goddamn money.

Credit: FleshAssist via YouTube

Now this is some high tech wanking device my friends. You can adjust speed, stroke length, and ya can even attach your phone to make sure ya visual aids are in full view. Some sort of porn would be the obvious choice, just careful not to accidently FaceTime ya Nanna.

Credit: FleshAssist via YouTube

At around 250 bucks, it’s not a bad investment in the health of your wrists. A small price to pay if you’re too lazy to rough up your own suspect I reckon!

There’s some absolutely crackin’ comments on the original Reddit post, here’s a couple of me favs:

@Tipsy_McShitfaced via Reddit

@eclecticsed via Reddit

@Eugene_Debmeister via Reddit

@SEND_ME_BITCOINS_PLZ via Reddit

Final Thoughts: Am I the only one worried about a bloody malfunction? Be careful lads. The last thing you wanna do is rock up to your local ER with the F**kmaster 3000 strapped to ya old fella.  Tippin’ you’ll probably leave with most of your c**k still attached, but no one wants to be known as the douche canoe that needs technological intervention to avoid manually shaking hands with his own shepherd.

Check out the video below.

H/T: Reddit & Fleshlight