New Research Reaches F*cking Awesome Conclusion About People Who Swear

New Research Reaches F*cking Awesome Conclusion About People Who Swear

I f*cking knew it! People say that people who swear are as dumb as bricks, but I always knew better. Everyone knows I swear a f*ck load, and science says it’s because I’m smart. How about that!

This is one smart man.

We all know that you can swear about anything at any time. Swear words are great because you can not only be mean, but you can be emotional and funny. This includes every type of funny – from satirical, joking, sarcasm or to hilariously emphasize someone’s f*ck up. You could say I’m fluent at swearing. And it’s not just the word f*ck that I like to use. I have a swearing vocab that rivals the best there is.

Researchers found that people with greater language skills can name more words that start with the same letter in a minute. They did the same thing with swearing except you can name any swear words, not just ones starting with the same letter.

Gordon Ramsay loves a good swear word and he's smart af!

Gordon Ramsay loves a good swear word and he’s smart af!

They found out that people who did better in the first task also did better in the second, and people who did badly in the second task generally did badly in the first task. Yeah science, b*tch! See, my IQ just went up 3 points. I think that’s how it works.

What it does mean is that the more words you know, the more swear words you know. When I write it like that, it makes sense.

It works the other way too. People who are in a more emotional state name more swear words. They did research on two groups – one who played first person video games (more emotional) and one who played golf (less emotional). After 10 minutes of playing they got the people do the swearing test and the people playing the more emotional game knew more swear words! Then again the researchers haven’t seen me play golf. When that f*cking ball goes into the water time and time again I can name a sh*tload of choice words.

Research doesn't lie people.

They also did more research on whether swearing helped you tolerate pain. I know when I get kicked in the nuts I let the expletives fly, and that seems to help me a great deal. What the researchers did is put peoples hand in ice cold water and one group was able to swear while the other group was not. The group that could swear said that it was less painful, and could withstand the pain for longer and their heart rates went up more. What they found out was swearing increases adrenaline and activates stress-induced analgesia, which makes you more tolerable to pain. This is why women going through child birth swear like drunken sailors.

Have a go at the test yourself and see how many words you can get: