Bloke has 15 beers pumped into his stomach in order to save his life
Anyone who’s bloody anyone has heard stories of dudes, dudettes, blokes and blokettes needing their stomach pumped after a heavy night on the sauce. Sh*t, there’s probably more than a few of you out there who tell that war-story with more than a small degree of pride. Well, we’re here to tell you your story can’t hold a candle to the one the Vietnamese bloke who had to have fifteen brewskis pumped into his stomach will be able to tell…
Deadset, no sh*t, and fair f**ken dinkum, Nguyen Van Nhat, a Vietnamese fella who must have been f**ken paralytic, f**ken sh*tfaced, and f**ken drunker than a skunk, found himself in deep sh*t after a night on the sauce.
The silly duffer found himself with alcohol poisoning so severe, most educated guesses would have assumed he was f**ken cactus. His doctor, Dr. Le Van Lam, broke it down in simple terms for people like you and I. It turns out that when you knock back a few tinnies (or a few dozen like Nguyen) your body breaks down the ethanol and the methanol in the booze as it processes it.
In Nguyen’s case, there was so much ethanol to process, he was left with methanol levels 1,119 times the average limit. From there, that methanol f**ken turned into formeldahyde. Long story short, Nguyen was up sh*t creek without a paddle and Destination F**ked was just beyond the metaphorical waterfall.
Thinking quickly, the doctors knew they had to buy themselves more time. Presumably short of medical alcohol to administer, they f**ken pumped him with three cans of beer to get things started before giving him another can every hour afterwards.
This gave them time to perform dialysis and save the maniac’s life.
Emergency physician Hans-Jörg Busch, from the University hospital of Freiburg, said, “The therapy with 15 cans of beer is rather unusual, but well understood. Maybe the Vietnamese colleagues had no other alcohol on hand. Much more important (than the kind of alcohol used) is that the therapy is immediately initiated.”
Final thought: All jokes aside, bloody Nguyen should be thankful his doctors had so much beer on hand. If they weren’t clearly planning a piss-up, he might have ended up carking it after all. F**ken good sh*t!
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