Tennessee Police warn the public about ‘Meth Gators’
In the world of man-made monsters, there are plenty of psychotic bio-engineered animals that are only too happy to rip your guts out, eat your face and turn you into a steaming pile of monster turds. Fortunately, most of these abominations reside in the pages of comic books and creations of film studios like The Asylum. But, in a strange twist of fate, it turns out police in Tennessee are so worried about drug-addicted alligators they’ve taken the precaution of warning the public to stop flushing their meth…
Obviously, we don’t want to scare anyone or make it seem like we’re overselling it, but here’s one of their first comments on the issue: “Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.”
This warning came in a Facebook post shared with the general public. It is, in fairness, a pretty strange opening salvo, but considering they’d just busted a suspect flushing his meth and his related paraphernalia down the dunny, they had cause for concern. In turn, they were pretty bloody quick to warn people that their meth will make it to Shoal Creek – and that’s where the gators are. “They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help,” they added online.
Obviously, anyone who’s seen horror movies knows you don’t alarm the public with this sort of s**t unless you know something they don’t. That’s why we think this might be cause for concern. Deadset, we wanna know what meth-addicted animals they’ve seen and what junkie bloody crocodiliac they’ve had to contend with.
We’re not sure of the science behind it, but we reckon there’d be nothing scarier than a meth-addicted gator.
Final thought: Okay, we’re just putting it out there, but if anyone wants to make a movie about this, we would watch the s**t out of it. Any volunteers?
Just in case you missed it, here’s one of Ozzy’s latest commentary videos…Ozzy Man Reviews: Crawl – Exclusive Movie Scene
Video Link: Now This