Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

Dentist Opens Women’s Mouth To Find Maggots Between Her Teeth

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In a video gross enough to put Dr Pimple Popper’s pus-filled exploits to shame, a dentist discovers dozens of wriggling maggots in a patient’s mouth. All right, apparently there are millions of you b*****ds out the...

This Canadian Bloke Was Fined For Singing Too Loudly While Driving

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We all know someone whose ‘singing’ could probably be used for cruel and bloody unusual punishments. For me, it’s the chick at work who puts on her earphones and busts out the Nickelback lyrics at high volume in the o...

Bloke Kills Spider With Blowtorch, Burns House Down In Process

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The phrase, ‘kill it with fire’ is a pretty bloody epic one. It makes a great f***ing meme, and an awesome throwback to John Carpenter’s seminal 1982 horror movie The Thing. Sh**, you could even get away with saying i...

Bloke Hands Himself In To Police After Losing Bet on Facebook

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You’ve got to love an honest criminal. They might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, the brightest star in the sky or the quickest wit in the west, but they’re usually pretty bloody good for entertainment and a lau...

Research Shows That Your Brain Still Works After You’re Pronounced Dead

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Bloody big – and terrifying – news out of the brainiacs at the New York University Langone School of Medicine right here: once your heart stops beating and doctor’s announce that you’ve kicked the bucket, you’re cactu...

Fake Cracking Effect On a 1200m High Glass Walkway is Mean As F%&k!

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Scaring dudes is bloody good fun isn’t it. It’s always a laugh and there are all sorts of pranks you can pull on people to the amusement of all. You can stick a whoopee cushion under their seat, wrap their entire offi...

Wife’s Annoying Habit Made This Bloke Hide In A Forest For 10 Years

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The nagging wife, an oft-used comedy trope, probably isn’t as funny as television makes her seem.  And nagging anyone isn’t fun really. Let’s not make this misogynous: nagging bosses, nagging parents, nagging siblings...

News Reporter Left Embarrassed After Perfect Photobomb on Live TV

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Sometimes live television is a real gift. It’s the kind of thing that gives us an uncensored swear-word, an overly confident streaker who really should have waited for warmer weather or just a news report that deliver...

This Duck Is A Regular At The Pub, He Drinks Pints & Picks Fights

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Fight fans rejoice! We’ve got a f*****g bewdy for you on tonight’s bill. It’s the heavily anticipated battle of fur vs feathers, it’s Star the bow-tie wearing drunkard duck vs his one-time mate Meggie the dog.  Avi...

Pink Drunk-Emailed Eminem About Collaborating And Received a Priceless Reply

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When you’re a man as famous for your wordcraft and lyrical flow as Eminem you get to choose when you spill the beans in great detail or when you keep the messages short and sweet. Marshall Mathers has officially be...

Mother And Son Survive 10 Days In Outback Using These Bear Grylls Techniques

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I’ve always thought that Bear Grylls would be the kind of bloke you’d need with you if you ever became lost in the outback. Of course, you’d have to run the risk of him eating you if there was no other food about, but...

These Trail Cameras Captured a Little More Than Anyone Could Have Intended

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If you’re familiar at all with the internet you’re undoubtedly aware of photobombs, selfies and candid footage. Humans have been all over that sh** for quite some time now. They love it. But they’re not the only ones....

Extreme Close Ups of In-Grown Hair Removal Are Very “Satisfying”

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All right, here’s another one for all you gross wankers. If that’s you, don’t feel ashamed. There are, apparently, loads of you out there. You’re the ones who insist on pulling stray hairs from co-worker’s ears, on pi...

Doctor Reaches Breaking Point And Kicks Loud-Mouthed Patient Out of Practice

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Is there anything worse than the waiting room at a medical centre?  You’re either there because you’re sick as a dog or you’re there waiting for someone who is, leaving you surrounded by other sick – and probably cont...

Eminem Roasts Donald Trump And All His Supporters During BET Music Awards

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It seems like roasting Donald Trump is all the rage these days, and why the f*** not? The man’s a caricature, a parody of everything excessive and vulgar about one of the world’s truly great countries, and an absol...