Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

Pilot expresses his boredom on 2 hour flight with flight path writing

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Remember sitting in maths at school, hating the f**k out of the class and ‘d**king’ your mate’s note-book? Ah, those were the days. Writing secret messages in the margins and then going about your business as if you’d...

A bunch of things people didn’t know what the f*** they were, solved by the Internet

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No matter how bloody smart we think we are, there’s just no comparison for the combined knowledge of a hive-mind or a team of bloody awesome people. Just for the sake of it, think about all the people you’ve met or sp...

PETA sparks huge f***en backlash with anti-Steve Tweet on his Birthday

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Look, first of all, we get it PETA. We know what you’re trying to do – you wanted free publicity – and to a large extent, the fact we’re even talking about your bulls**t post about Steve ‘the bloody legend’ Irwin mean...

Fireman forced to rescue “compromised” bloke from massage parlour window

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Sometimes life is a bloody farce, isn’t it. Sometimes that sucks and you have to deal with the whole world laughing at you. Sometimes, though, it’s not you that’s being laughed at, it’s some other bugger. When that’s ...

Clever cat removes wooden bar and f***en unlocks door for owner

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As you probably know, we’re pretty bloody quick to brand all cats as c**ts here at Ozzy Man Reviews. Well, it might be time for us to rescind on that a little. The reason for that is an awesome little video that’s cur...

Sheila demands persuasive essay for her BJ services, bloke writes the mother of all essays

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The humble bj is indeed a pretty f**ken marvellous thing. Anyone who’s ever had one won’t need convincing otherwise. Unfortunately, for some blokes, getting some mouth to south resuscitation isn’t as simple as it look...

Bloke shares the coolest s**t he has found on Google Earth

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Google Earth is pretty much the cheapest way to see the world. Deadset, from the comfort of your own living room, you can check out all sorts of cool s**t. Whether you want to see some of the finest man-made monuments...

Police are on the hunt for the Kiwi Butt-Plug Bandits

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We all know the media loves to come up with catchy names for people. If you’re an alleged criminal, that name might have something to do with your alleged crimes. With that in mind, we give you the Butt-Plug Bandits. ...

Bloke accidentally makes sheila think he is a serial killer, deletes her online account

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All right, ya big bloody legends, you know we love a bit of Reddit around here. The reason for that, as always, is that it’s a melting pot of people who aren’t afraid to tell you s**t you really don’t need to know. No...

10 year old kid sends Nick Cave a letter asking for advice, gets bloody brilliant response

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Over the years, Ozzyland has produced its fair share of cool as f**k famous c**ts, but the coolest of them all is easily the legendary Nick Cave. Here’s a dude with more talent and creativity in his little pinkie than...

Bloke charged with murder after throwing hot dog napkin in bin at hockey game

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We’ve got to be approaching the point where there’s just no getting away with murder. Technology might not have advanced to Minority Report levels, but f**k me sideways, it’s pretty s**t hot. You might have heard of a...

The terrifying moment a 5 metre Great White Shark lunges out of the water

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Let’s talk f**ken sharks for a moment. Everyone knows what they are and just how badly they can f**k you up, but despite our love of wildlife, we don’t talk enough about the b**tards on this website. Having said that,...

Ozzy Police release footage of UFO claiming “we are not alone”

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Righto, stop f**king about, don your tin-foil hats, cue the X-Files music and get ready to s**t your bloody pants. Extra-terrestrials are here. They’ve arrived. They’ve come to mutilate our f**ken cows, abduct our red...

The bloke who made the glitter-bomb has now helped clean undrinkable water

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G’day, ya glorious f**kknuckles. We’d like to start this one off by saying we hope you're keeping your fluids up and that we hope you’ve got the freshest cleanest water available to you. The reason we say that is simp...

Bloke notices Eminem never smiles, so he photoshops him brilliantly

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Eminem is a famously intense mother**ker. That’s probably got a lot to do with his whole thing being that he’s a dude from the streets who’s conquered great adversity to reach cult status while still ‘keeping it real....