Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

10 year old kid sends Nick Cave a letter asking for advice, gets bloody brilliant response

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Over the years, Ozzyland has produced its fair share of cool as f**k famous c**ts, but the coolest of them all is easily the legendary Nick Cave. Here’s a dude with more talent and creativity in his little pinkie than...

Bloke charged with murder after throwing hot dog napkin in bin at hockey game

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We’ve got to be approaching the point where there’s just no getting away with murder. Technology might not have advanced to Minority Report levels, but f**k me sideways, it’s pretty s**t hot. You might have heard of a...

The terrifying moment a 5 metre Great White Shark lunges out of the water

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Let’s talk f**ken sharks for a moment. Everyone knows what they are and just how badly they can f**k you up, but despite our love of wildlife, we don’t talk enough about the b**tards on this website. Having said that,...

Ozzy Police release footage of UFO claiming “we are not alone”

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Righto, stop f**king about, don your tin-foil hats, cue the X-Files music and get ready to s**t your bloody pants. Extra-terrestrials are here. They’ve arrived. They’ve come to mutilate our f**ken cows, abduct our red...

The bloke who made the glitter-bomb has now helped clean undrinkable water

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G’day, ya glorious f**kknuckles. We’d like to start this one off by saying we hope you're keeping your fluids up and that we hope you’ve got the freshest cleanest water available to you. The reason we say that is simp...

Bloke notices Eminem never smiles, so he photoshops him brilliantly

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Eminem is a famously intense mother**ker. That’s probably got a lot to do with his whole thing being that he’s a dude from the streets who’s conquered great adversity to reach cult status while still ‘keeping it real....

Boss of the year is given 8 hours to fire his entire staff, decides to help them instead

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By this stage, it’s pretty safe to assume that everyone reading this has had a sh**ty boss at one stage or another. Those b**tards are bloody ubiquitous. It doesn’t matter whether you work in retail, in trade, or in a...

Bloke sends Sheila $9 invoice after failed date

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We dunno about you blokes and blokettes, but we’re pretty sure we live in a world in flux right now. We’re evolving as social beasts. The ways we’ve interacted in the past don’t always apply and, as a result, the rule...

Dog destroys neighbours “toy” parcel, resulting in very awkward exchange

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Here at Ozzy Man Reviews, we’re acutely aware of the fact that most people have to live with neighbours. That can be good or bad depending on the neighbour. Sometimes your neighbours are d**kheads, sometimes they’re y...

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s house looks like something out of a bloody horror film

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Look, right off the bat, that’s a bloody big call. But, it’s pretty much accurate. And, just for clarity’s sake, we’re not talking about a spooky one like the house on Niebolt street in It. Yeah, nah, we’re talking ab...

The Internet shares their life-altering experiences that everyone must try

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It’s not a bloody secret that the sum of human knowledge is built upon the experiences of us all a combined race. It’s also just common sense to understand that there are some experiences that just change you, man. An...

Suffering bloke texts Pasta Helpline instead of depression line, gets incredible response

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As much as we like to think that life is all fun, games, YouTube videos and d**k jokes, we just have to face reality and understand that some people are doing it tough. Deadset, we all have our hard moments, but for s...

Bloke discovers he is in a Tinder date nightmare when boyfriend arrives at front door

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It’s no bloody secret that Tinder – and other websites like it – have revolutionised the way we date in the modern world. No longer do you have to settle for whichever down and desperate losers are left in the bar at ...

Tokyo 2020: Medals to be made from recycled waste

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We’ve spoken about our love for Japan loads of times here on Ozzyman Reviews, and we’re gonna say it again, we fair dinkum love those pricks. They just seem to really ‘get’ what it means to be a good bloke. Have a f**...

Bloke picks the lock on chastity cage with a condom wrapper

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We’re going to be completely up front with you blokes and blokettes right now. We know that a bunch of you are going to look at this story and shrug it off as ludicrous. You’re going to think it’s a load of old s**t a...